Are You Tired of Being Phubbed?

Article Summary - Here at Marriage Guidance Kent we know how difficult relationships can be sometimes, but now there is a new obstacle getting in the way - known as “phubbing” - Phubbing is a merging of the words “phone” and “snubbing”. The definition of phubbing is ‘snubbing someone in favour of a mobile phone’.
Phubbing causes problems in romantic relationships when your partner ignores you or becomes absorbed mid-conversation with their phone than they are with you. While phubbing can often happen quite innocently, such as checking Facebook at the dinner table, the constant use of smartphones in the presence of a romantic partner can undermine the relationship; making it feel as if someone’s partner is choosing their phone over them, leading to them feeling rejected.
In fact, phubbing has become so common that a studies have found that it is now one of the biggest sources of conflicts in romantic relationships alongside arguments about children, money and sex and often a reason to bring couples to therapy. Phubbing is now one of the main reasons people seek the help of Marriage Guidance Kent.

In a nutshell, nobody likes to be phubbed. It can lead us to feel that our partner doesn’t find us interesting enough and would rather be communicating with someone else. It leads to more insecurity about ourselves and more uncertainty about our relationships. So, if your goal is to have a happy, healthy marriage, it’s advisable to consistently put your partner before your phone, or at least setting some boundaries over phone usage that is acceptable to you both.  Agreeing as a couple on how often your use your phones when you’re together will help make you both feel valued in the relationship. If you don’t put boundaries in place, you’re not going to have an opportunity to create a sense of 'we' and 'us' as a couple, and you’re going to feel like you’re available to everybody but each other."

If you feel you are being phubbed in your relationship but are unable to talk to your partner about it for fear of them getting defensive, then contact Marriage Guidance Kent for help today.

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